Midwestern niceness- it's a thing

Tracy and I don't always eat breakfast, but when we do . . .

My wife and I celebrated my 50th birthday by spending a few days in Chicago and catching the epic Notre Dame vs USC rivalry football game. That game has been on my radar ever since the legendary 1974 Anthony Davis comeback, so we went and checked that off the bucket list. I originally thought to spend my 50th birthday in the 50th state, and even started to make plans in that direction, but then I remembered that I really don’t like the beach! I like looking at it, driving next to it, and knowing that it’s there, but I can’t think of a bigger waste of time than hanging out on a beach towel looking at a big old body of water.

So we headed to Chi-town and saw many cool sites, including a boat tour of the lake and river to see the skyline and learn about the architecture here. We lucked into some tickets (10 minutes before curtain!) to go see Hamilton at the CIBC Theater which was just across from where we were staying, the Palmer House. And holy cow, the Palmer House hosted some huge acts over the years. Including Louis Prima & Keely Smith, Frankie Avalon, George Burns, Andy Williams, Sonny & Cher, Judy Garland, Jerry Lewis, the list goes on. We had a room with a Ricky and Lucy type set up with two beds, and we each had our own bathroom. That last part cannot be stressed enough!

Diggin' the Spirit of Troy

We knew that the USC Marching Band would be performing at Navy Pier, so we went and were blown away. That band and its leader should be designated a national treasure! They were great, they were cool, and have earned every accolade they been given. Tracy and I keep looking each other with that "holy cow" look on our faces.

We had deep dish pizza that was OMG yummy. We asked a dozen Uber drivers the best pizza place, and answers were all over the map.  Gino's East was too out of our way, Giordano's had too long a line, but Lou Malnati's got us right in . . . and the two of us managed to consume an entire pizza.  Well, it was a small, and we BARELY finished it! (We had the super delicious Malnati salad followed by "The Lou" pizza.)

But I have to say the bratwursts stick out the most. They do like their brats here. I had them in several places, including The Berghoff, but easily the best was at Notre Dame Stadium.

One of about a dozen brats.

Game day was pretty darn incredible. We got up early and jumped on the train at Millennium Station which took us to the airport in South Bend where there was a shuttle waiting to take us to campus. We were pretty awestruck by the beauty of that place. If there is any institution that successfully trades on its wonderful traditions, it is the University of Notre Dame. The golden dome was really impressive, and watching the bagpipes playing in front of the steps was outstanding. Touring the basilica with all of its beauty makes a heck of an indelible impression. We took a picture in front of Touchdown Jesus, which made Tracy feel a bit guilty, so I’m not posting it here.

We went to the bookstore to find a restroom, and who should be up there signing his new book but Rudy Ruettiger!  Tracy's favorite movie is Rudy, so we were giddy at the chance of having him sign a book and having a picture taken with him. Definitely one of the high points of our visit.

We saw the Marching Band of the Fighting Irish perform from the steps of one of the old buildings on campus, (Bond Hall), and to our great surprise and pleasure, they accompanied the rock group Chicago! That group never sounded so good than when it had the Notre Dame brass section backing it up! What a treat. And thankfully, they played their rock stuff, not those syrupy ballads from the 80s.

Rock group Chicago playing "Saturday in the Park" and "25 or 6 to 4" backed up by the Irish Band!

Thousands of alumni were found taking in the excitement, and some of these folks looked like they had some serious mileage on them. When the band played the alma mater, all put their arm around someone nearby and sang with reverence and soberness. Not that they were all sober!

Why students are called "domers."

Being at Notre Dame Stadium was really cool, and we could see touchdown Jesus from our seats. I heard someone say there is not a bad seat in the house, and from our seat in the corner the end zone I would have to agree. We could see everything and we saw a lot. It was a blowout to the delight of the Irish faithful.  Of course, sitting in the season ticket holder section made me was Irish for the day, so yes WE won big!

The team prayer before the game was shown on the big screen. A priest invited everyone to mass the next day. A professor serving in the army was recognized to a standing ovation. When the national anthem was sung, all stood and sung along. It is not hard to fall in love with this place. . . good ol' midwestern values.

While we had a ton of great experiences, the thing that sticks out the most is how nice everyone was. You’d have thought we were in Canada! Every person, every.one.of.them, that we engaged to ask directions, advice on sites, whatever, provided a little more than expected. On campus we were continually told, "Welcomed to Notre Dame." Standing in line meant chatting it up with folks in front of and behind us. Tracy and I were pretty taken with how nice the people were and the overall feeling of pleasantness. Sort of a bummer that you notice people being nice instead of expect it.

Cruisin' Lake Michigan

And this wasn't just in South Bend, but Chicago too. People weren't just more polite, they seemed to be generally interested in being helpful. We were asking someone for directions, and a lady passing by asked, "Where you looking for?" She then spent time giving us details, including a "shortcut down an elevator that puts you in Whole Foods, but exit and cross the street and you're there." Every time I asked someone for directions or advice, they spent more time and gave more details than expected. Like exactly why Lou Malnati's is better than Giordano's pizza!

The Bean, surprisingly cooler than you would think!

Chicago may have its reputation for crime, nearly 600 murders this year so far, 8 while we were there. But St. Louis, Baltimore, Detroit, New Orleans and Newark all have higher rates. They may be less genteel on the South Side of Chicago, (the baddest part of town), but the rest of the Windy City was just peaches and cream. We shall return!

Coaches- One of the things that makes America great

Not THAT type of coach, silly!

Sad happenings this week in Vegas, and sad to see the fallout discussions. I have my own opinions on gun control and stuff, but so what. Opining on that topic divides. I read that there were 88k deaths related to alcohol use last year in the US. Where is the outrage there? And does anyone now care about who takes a knee?

It is too easy to focus on things that suck, so I would like to focus just a bit on one of the things that makes this country great.  There are many, (those serving in PTAs, charities, churches, local agencies, etc.) but today I am talking about coaches.

Go to any soccer field across this fruited plain, and you will see SUVs, minivans, popup tents, umbrellas, coolers full of water bottles and orange wedges . . . but the common thread that holds everything together are coaches. Hundreds of thousands leave work early and spend countless hours to invest in kids. I love those guys.

I coached football for a year, the Camarillo Cougars' 8th grade level team. My old high school friend Matt Hickman pulled me aside, and wisely counseled, "John, when Jake gets older, you are going to coach him, right? Well, you don't want to be a rookie coach. Why don't you come out and cut your teeth on other peoples' kids this year with the Cougars?"

Sounded like sound logic to me. But after four months of 4 nights a week and all day every Saturday, I realized the commitment. And it wasn't just time, I felt dedicated to give my very best effort to these 45 or 50 boys, who felt like my sons. I think the worst day of my life was when we lost our 2nd round playoff game. That was in 2007, and I have to admit to still feeling sick about it. Watching Matty Hickman refuse to be tackled, and Tony Johnson break a finger but still continuing to play, are indelibly imprinted in my mind. And heart.

I came to understand something too. Coaching makes you crazy. It may be temporary insanity, but there were times I wanted to put a contract on those guys in stripes.

Over the years I have seen a lot of great things from coaches. Here are a few that stick out.

Carl Thompson- don't let the smile fool you!

Carl Thompson- my high school football coach. We won CIF at the LA Coliseum against a team that sent over a dozen to play in college, and two to the NFL. They scored the first 14 points, we scored the last 16. (I will never forget watching us convert on 4th and goal from the 9 with less than 3 minutes left in the game.) The other team had more yards, more first downs, greater time of possession, etc. They dominated in the stats, (except one!) and there was a bit of sour grapes from their coach in the paper. Coach Thompson met with us during the week after the game and told us not to pay attention to that garbage, that we were the champs, and no one can ever take that away from us. The dude was pretty tough, but at that moment, he was a fatherly figure to us.

Anonymous coach- there are rules in college sports, but some of them seem overly austere. My buddy's kid was away at college to wrestle, (and probably study too!), and was struggling to make ends meet as many of us did while in college. Coaches are limited by rules on what help they can give, but my friend's kid was home in his apartment and he received a visit from his coach, who had an armful of groceries for him. From what I hear, this isn't a rare thing, but sure does indicate the emotional investment made in these kids. My buddy often said that his boy would take a bullet for that coach.

Joe Rios, a class act, great coach, and one of by best friends. Hundreds of his athletes were at his funeral. 

Bobby Douglas- his Iowa State heavyweight was wrestling against the top ranked Iowa wrestler at the NCAAs, and the Iowa kid hurt him with an illegal move. It wasn't malicious, he just took a hold beyond its range of motion. It happens. If Bobby's kid couldn't continue, then he would be awarded the match, disqualifying the Iowa kid. Bobby was not matside, but his kid was being coached by Bobby's assistant coaches. When it appeared his kid would not be able to continue the match, Bobby ran across the mats to where his kid was and told the ref that his kid would not accept a win that way. So his kid got up with his injured wing, went to the center of the mat, and stood across from the Iowa kid. The ref blew the whistle to start the clock, then blew it again to stop the clock, and Bobby defaulted the match. The Iowa kid ended up winning the national championship, but what I saw from Bobby Douglas was a lesson in class.

Brad Penrith- best example of coaching a ref. I was officiating his kid from Northern Iowa University at the NCAA D1 West Region. His kid was on top riding, and Brad calmly said to me from his corner, "You're gonna miss the points if you don't get over here." I scooted on over, and his kid then hit a tilt going an unexpected way, and I would have totally missed it. Well, not totally, I would have gotten there in time for a one-count, but you need a two-count to get points, and he barely had the two-count before the bottom kid rolled out of danger. At that moment I got some insight on the partnership a coach and ref could have, not to anyone's advantage, but to ensure a safe and fair contest.

Coach Dave Pacheco doing what coaches do, and getting more than most coaches get.

Coaching is a funny thing. Those guys put their hearts and souls into kids. There were a couple colleges in California where the coaches didn't like me as a referee, and honestly felt like their kid was going to get hosed with me on the whistle. I considered quitting over it. I didn't want any coach to believe their kids were going to be mistreated by me. I ultimately decided it was their issue more than mine, to avoid their kids if possible at tournaments, and to realize that probably every coach has a ref on his list.

I am amazed at the good coaches do, and this country has an army of them who help kids learn responsibility, build grit, develop skills, build character, and yep . . . pay if forward. America would be a different place without these wonderful coaches- God bless 'em all.