Bald Headed Women and Other Dumb Lyrics

A little bit of heaven 94.7, KMET . . . tweedle-dee!

Growing up, I loved to listen to music. Not with the same degree of interest as my friend Vince Wutkee, but I still enjoyed the tunes, and still do. Even though I really enjoyed concerts, I just went to a limited number of them, and have only recently forgiven my parents for not letting me go to the US Festival back in 1982. Being that my dad was a cop and had seen a few things, and that I was only 14, it was probably a wise decision. That said, I found it pretty funny that he just sent me an email with the subject, "KISS performs in Iraq."

I loved a lot of the bubble gum pop back in the day. In public I liked rock, but in secret, I was all over the Top 40 stuff. On the outside of my car, I might have had an an upside down KMET sticker on my bumper, but on the inside, I was singing along loudly to the Mighty 690. It was tough to live two musical lives, but I couldn't let anyone on my football team know that I liked KC and the Sunshine Band! I had a Zeppelin shirt, but Disco Duck was on my record player. The Bee Gees, Kool and the Gang, and yes, Barry Manilow. I knew the songs that made the young girls cry, and I thought I knew all the lyrics. More on that in a bit.

I found online a pic of the very first concert I attended, INXS.  That is why we have the Internet.

Growing up, my buddy Chris Chavez had an older brother Greg, who oozed coolness, and he was a pretty tough guy back then.  Being both cool and tough? Yeah, I was impressed. I remember seeing him doing a pop and lock routine, which, again, really cool. If you were tough, you didn't cabbage patched, you popped. But to my surprise, on Facebook yesterday he talked about loving Captain and Tennille and ABBA back then! A.B.B.A!! Tough hombres do not listen to ABBA!

Truth be told, I have an ABBA station on Pandora, which I play when the family is in car together. We took a family trip to the Sequoias one year, which was shortly after we watched Mamma Mia!, and we wore out a couple ABBA CDs on the way up and back singing along to "Super Troopers" and other fun ones. That was such a ball that Courtney wanted ABBA to be cranked up in the car when we drove down together to her wedding. Suffice it to say, Dancing Queen has a warm place in the Troxels' hearts.

But I digress!  This is about dumb lyrics.

Shortly after getting married, Tracy and I were driving down the road, and a popular Bee Gees song from my youth came on the radio, and I loudly sang along to, "Bald-headed woman, bald-headed woman to meeeee."

Tracy looked at me with a questioning look, and I said something like, "Right?  Why on earth would they sing about a bald-headed woman?"

She responded with something like, "Honey, it is called 'MORE THAN A WOMAN!'"

And suddenly the song made sense.

I knew it was the Bee Gees, I knew the tune, and I thought I knew the words. Story of my life.

There are some other really, really dumb lyrics out there. That I sing really, really loud to. Such as . . .

1. What the heck is the "pompitus of love," Steve Miller? And why do they call you "Maurice?"
2. Journey- "If he ever hurts you, true love won't desert you." The song is "Separate Ways," and almost made me want to part ways with them, but I was too invested with 5 or 6 of their albums. Dumb, dumb lyric.
3. "The Reflex, is an only child, he's waiting in the park." Duh-Ran Duh-Ran
4. "Everybody Wang Chun tonight." 
5. "They got little hands, and little eyes, and they walk around telling great big lies." Ok, if Oingo Boingo can write about little girls and the Police about stalking with "Every breath you take," then a little Archie Bunkeresque humor ain't so bad! Of course, Dire Straits's referencing the millionaire with the airplane in "Money For Nothing" would likely get little air time today . . .

One things is for sure. I never paid attention to the meanings of songs until I got kids.