Trump's Small Hands and Other Hypocrisies

-little hands, and little eyes, and they walk around telling great big lies...

Randy Newman should be commissioned to write a song about Donald Trump's hands. It would be a hit!

Think I am kidding? That it would be inappropriate for enlightened people to make fun of someone like that?

Just Google "trump" and "hands" and you will find a ton of articles, about him having to use two hands to hold a water bottle, to insults about their size. And these just aren't from TMZ or Huffington Post, but Newsweek, Vanity Fair, Washington Post, and other non-fake news outlets.

And yes, it is clear what people mean when they mention the small hands . . . not cool, people. Amy Schumer, Meghan Trainor, Rhianna, Kirstie Alley, Val Kilmer, and other celebs have been body shamed. Heck, remember Joan Rivers going off on Elizabeth Taylor's weight? And this is not to mention the day to day stuff we talk about over lunch. How this doesn't equate to body shaming is beyond me. Not what I would call good manners, and certainly does not respect the office.

The older I get, the more I take note of such glaring hypocrisies. Some of it is benign, like how we make allowances for dumb things our friends do but condemn others for the same actions. As a parent, I am always on the lookout for the "do what I say, not what I do" stuff, but admittedly fall short. Hypocrisy is something too easy to be guilty of, but it magnifies in organizations.

It is seen in government way too much, "You can trust us with the decryption keys, Apple, we are the government." The government which corralled Americans of Japanese heritage during WW2, which put the Indians on reservations, which blackballed many during the McCarthy era, which ran the 40-year Tuskegee Syphilis Study, which is guilty of abuses of power under the All-American-named Patriot Act, which gives benefits to Congress that are not extended to other Americans or Federal employees . . . the list goes on.

One place where it sticks in my craw is at church, and unless you regularly attend a church, this won't make much sense. Those who are Christian try to live by the teachings of Christ, but it doesn't take much to think about non-Christian behavior by professed followers, right? We can open up the history books to learn about the Crusades, Inquisition, and Salem Witch Trials.

Let's take my church, for example (LDS). Well, not so much the church, but like any group, does have cultural things that are unique to every organization. I preface this by saying that I am devout in my religion, and love attending and serving, it is just some things in our members that need refining. Also, I might have been a bit guilty of one or two of these:

• Callings- we've heard it preached that one isn't above another, and might even believe it on some level, but do we value a counselor in the stake presidency differently than an assistant nursery leader? 
• What about a 25-yr old high priest versus a 45-yr old elder? 
• A divorced man versus one with marriage intact? 
• Return missionary versus one who never served? 
• Democrat versus Republican? 
• Those with or without a Rameumptom?

A Catholic buddy tells me he sees the same thing in his church, where some members will feel a level of prominence due to their position or board service or committee membership. I imagine every church will struggle with this. (Anyone who has ever seen preacher John Lithgow in "Footloose" can attest to that!) In the early days of the reformation, wealthy members would buy pews up towards the front of the chapel for their families, which came with a nice little gate on them; everyone else stood in the back. Good, Christian, folks.

I know which pew I would buy!

There is actually positive thing with hypocrisy. It assumes that there are standards that the hypocrites are breaking. And standards are good.

The older I get, (a phrase I am using more and more), the more I am not only clarifying standards, but prioritizing them: 1) be nice, and 2) be good.

My daughter Courtney had the same math teacher as me at Camarillo High School, Lee Talley. I ran into him while Court was taking his class, and he remarked what a great kid she was. I responded with something about wishing she was more attentive as a student, and Lee said, "She is a good kid, and that is much better than being a good student." (Full disclosure- Court is a straight-A student with one year of college left.)

So, be nice, and be good, and all other things will take care of themselves. (And no more comments on Trump's hands, hypocrites!)

Rudy Ruettiger and George Bailey, a Troxel Family Tradition

Spoiler alert for movies made in 1946 and 1993!

Lots of people have time honored Christmas traditions that they get all misty-eyed when talking about. Some recreate the nativity scene, some make tamales, some get their kids giddy with their elf on a shelf thing.

My wife, who loves, loves, loves Christmas, drew the short straw with me in that respect. I am no humbug or anything, but this will be my fiftieth Christmas, so for the most part, I have a "take it or leave it" attitude with this holiday. Perhaps that means I AM a humbug!

Tracy talks about times when as a kid, her family jumped in the truck and her dad, with child-like excitement, drove them up every year into the Uintah Mountains, trudged through the snow, and cut down a perfectly shaped fir tree to decorate and adorn their living room. These days she will bake cookies for us to take to friends and neighbors, sees opportunities to spoil the grandkids, and leads our overall effort with decorating.

For me, however, seeing street decorations go up after Halloween, efforts by retailers to get me to spend more, and getting away from what seems to me should be the true meaning of Christmas, has colored my view of the day. Seriously, the etymology of "holiday" shows it came from the old English word "hāligdæg," referring to special religious days, or quite literally, holy days. The rest of it . . . bah humbug! Right here is where the smiley face emoji would usually go.

But there are a couple things we do every year. One is to watch Tracy's favorite movie, "Rudy." For some reason, that movie just never gets old. We always record it when it comes on, even though we own the DVD (maybe more than one) as well as the online copy at Amazon. It is an incredible film about perseverance and achievement against certain odds. My favorite scene? Well, I got two. One is  Rudy sitting on the bench outside Holy Cross College, looking across Lake Joseph at the golden dome, and he opens up his acceptance letter to No-tray Dahm. The second is when he gets on the field and sacks the Georgia Tech quarterback.

Why do we watch Rudy at Christmas? Beats me, but that's what we do. Having had a chance to see some of the sites from the film on a recent trip, including the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes (where Rudy lit a candle), Touchdown Jesus, Notre Dame Stadium, the golden dome, and the incredibly beautiful basilica made us not only love the movie more, but fall in love with the institution. (Visiting Notre Dame . . . every Mormon's dream!) And meeting Rudy, well, that was more than the icing on the cake . . . that was the cake itself!

The other thing we do is watch "It's a Wonderful Life." How a box office loser that was reported to espouse communist principles became the iconic show that it is today is beyond me, but the challenges faced, hope illustrated, and lessons on friendship, moral courage and love are timeless. I love the scene when old man Potter shakes George's hand when offering him a job, and George looked at his own hand like he was holding something filthy, as if you can sense evil by touch. I don't think I can go 5 minutes without coming to a part I love. Too many to list. But I will list just a few!

One of my favorite parts is when George rescues his brother, who had broken through the ice on the pond. Even more, I really like the part more when all of George's friends bail him out with contributions at the end, and while the group sings "Auld Lang Syne," George sees the note from Clarence, "Remember, no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings." Actually, I love it when Bert and Ernie serenade the newlyweds with "I Love You, Truly" over their first meal as man and wife at the Old Granville House. Nope, my favorite has to be when George uses his honeymoon money and prevents the Baily Brothers Building & Loan Association, the original sub-prime lender, from going under when there is a run on the banks. Or when George and Mary are dancing and fall into the pool. Or when Angel 2nd Class Clarence gets saved by George in the river. Or when George is running down snowy Bedford Falls yelling "Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!" I could go on.

The movie is one of those things, (sort of like Les Miz), that has something that resonates more as you get older. Today, this is my favorite part:

George is at Martini's bar, facing financial ruin because of a blunder by his uncle, which will not only result in scandal, but will land him in jail. He stares down into his drink, and says, "Dear Father in Heaven, I’m not a praying man. But if you’re up there and you can hear me, show me the way. I’m at the end of my rope. Show me the way, God.”

Then he crashes into the tree, goes to the bridge, and rescues Clarence.

Jimmy Stewart was later interviewed, and he recalled this from that scene, "As I said those words, I felt the loneliness, the hopelessness of people who had nowhere to turn, and my eyes filled with tears. I broke down sobbing. This was not planned at all, but the power of that prayer, the realization that our Father in heaven is there to help the hopeless, had reduced me to tears."

I almost hate to call "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Rudy" movies. "Glitter" and "Waterworld" are also movies. It's like a Rueben from Katz's Deli and a PB&J from a Chevron foodmart both being called "sandwiches." From now on, I will call them "films."

Rudy and George . . . they will always have a place at our holiday table!

Porn to Pence, Lust and Lauer

Strange times with all the recent revelations. First, who wanted to believe that about Dr. Huxtable? Unbelievable that was just the start. Statement after statement by women who have been harassed, assaulted and even raped by not just men in power, but lots of men in power!

First off, this just has to be said.  Bravo, Mike Pence. The uproar earlier this year about his rules regarding not eating alone with women who were not his wife, was ridiculous. He was described as being discriminatory against women, and his rules perpetuate disadvantages to women. Hmm . . . protecting his marriage by setting boundaries, what.a.jerk. Keep your modeling of moral courage to yourself, pal.

Good thing Bill O'Reilly, Matt Lauer, and others in recent news didn't burden those they worked with with such antiquated rules.

We pillory those who try to do what is right, and then act surprised when people who observe no such rules behave badly. Cannot have it both ways.

Women have gotten the short end of the stick as far back as Eve getting hoodwinked by the serpent- that is a given. And quite honestly, I am pretty sure men can opine on that about as well as whites can on racism, so I will keep it zipped on both accounts.

While the problem may be bigger than many will believe, some care should be taken here. For example, get this . . . not all accusers are telling the truth! Tucker Carlson recently spoke about his awful experience of being falsely accused by someone he never even met. Accusations equate to convictions for men, especially those who trade on their good name.

So, men are worried too. UCLA professor Kim Elsesser found that, in 2006, 75% of men worried about sexual harassment issues at work, and 30% of her sample had co-workers question them about the true motives behind a cross-gender relationship. How do you think those numbers are in December 2017?

Our society sure wants it both ways. We want boys dressing in girls' locker rooms. We want to take the filters off computers our kids can access at school and at the library. We want to be tough on crime yet we suspect the men in blue. The list goes on.

We want to say a woman should be able to wear what she wants without getting unwanted attention. Well, duh, I agree with that; but that is not the law of the jungle. I suspect Lady Gaga would not wear her meat dress on the Serengeti.

When a woman is wearing anything that my wife would not approve of, I deliberately will not look anywhere in her direction. I don't want anyone to come close to thinking I am leering at women, so if my radar picks up that she is wearing something less or something tight, then I look the other way. Last thing I want is for my kid to think I am checking out some babe in yoga pants at the mall. (As if I go to the mall.)

And we want porn. Lots of it. Just on one site, PornHub, many of us spent over 4.5 billion hours watching porn in 2016. 44,000 visitors every minute of every day visit that site. Porn grosses more in sales than Hollywood, and more money that the NFL, NBA and MBL. Combined. Yay us.

To add some perspective . . .

• 64% of all men in the U.S. view porn monthly. (Same average for Christian men, in case you think religion is moral insurance.)
• 11 is the average age a child first stumbles on to porn.
• The divorce rate doubles for men who use porn, and triples for women who indulge.
• 88% of porn videos contain violence.

There are studies that show that porn shrinks brains, increases violence, and encourages sexual predatory behavior.

No wonder there are so many perverts out there.